Satisfying Needs
by homesweethomicide13
Summary: Kakuzu is on a solo mission, so who will satisfy Hidan's needs? Getting cosy with the blonde bomber sounds like a good plan, until Kakuzu returns home early... KakuHidan, HidanDei, KakuDei.


**Title:** Satisfying Needs  
**Author:** homesweethomicide13  
**Rating:** M  
**Pairing:** KakuHidan, HidanDei, KakuDei  
**Warning:** Yaoi, threesome, blood, Hidan's mouth  
**Disclaimer:** Not mine. Yet.  
**Summary:** Kakuzu is on a solo mission, so who will satisfy Hidan's needs? Getting cosy with the blonde bomber sounds like a good plan, until Kakuzu returns home early...

**Satisfying Needs**

"Oi, oi. Where the fuck are you going?" Hidan growled, turning over in bed to watch Kakuzu pulling on his cloak.

"Mission." Kakuzu was never one for talking, especially in the morning. Hidan sat up, letting the sheets fall down around his waist and leaving little to the imagination. He ran a hand through his platinum hair and scowled.

"Then why the fuck didn't you wake me up sooner, asshole?" He complained, moving to get out of bed. He hated it when Kakuzu woke him up with only a few minutes left to spare, and the money-loving miser knew that all too well. Kakuzu rolled his eyes and shoved Hidan back into bed.

"_Solo_ mission." Hidan's snappy complaint died in his throat and he stared at Kakuzu in what could have been called shock.

"What? Oh…" His scowl faded. "For how long?" Kakuzu shrugged.

"A few days, minimum, if it all goes to plan. If not, a week at most." The scowl returned instantly.

"A week? You're going away for a week?" He whined. "Why do you have to go?" Anyone who knew Hidan well – and that was limited to very few people, since no one really bothered to try – knew that the moment he stopped swearing every other word meant he was upset or disappointed. Kakuzu sighed and reached out with one hand to touch Hidan's cheek.

"It _will_ go well, and I'll be back in a few days." Hidan tried to smile – Kakuzu was telling him that he would personally make sure he wasn't away for a week, just for him. "Meanwhile, try to stay out of trouble – and don't get blood on the bed sheets again. These ones were expensive." Now he grinned. He'd purposely covered the sheets in blood the last time Kakuzu had gone on a solo mission so that the stingy bastard would fork out for some nice, new ones. And they were nice, too, which had surprised him.

"I can't promise anything." He smirked at Kakuzu's glare. "That doesn't scare me, you heathen bastard." Kakuzu would have hit him for the insult, if it hadn't been so good to hear him curse again. He smiled and leant down, pressing his lips to Hidan's forehead. "Oi, oi, asshole, what the fuck is that? I want a proper kiss, damn it." With a quiet laugh, Kakuzu tilted Hidan's face up to his and kissed him, hard. The Jashinist hooked an arm around Kakuzu's neck and pulled him closer, tangling his fingers in Kakuzu's long hair. When they parted, Kakuzu smiled.

"Now I don't want to leave." He murmured. "But Pein is paying me double for this mission, so let go of me before I take your arm with me." Hidan rolled his eyes, but let go of his lover and fell back against the bed.

"Alright, but hurry your heathen ass up getting back, 'cause I'm gonna be fucking horny as hell." Kakuzu laughed quietly again and picked up his head covering and mask, fixing them into place. "Seeya fucker." With a nod, Kakuzu opened their bedroom door and walked out, shutting it firmly behind him. Hidan groaned and put a hand to his head. "Great. _Now_ I'm horny as hell."

*

It had only been two days since Kakuzu had left for his solo mission, but Hidan was already frustrated. The bed was so much colder, and the nights so much longer, and it felt strange to shower alone. He, of course, vented his frustrations out on the other Akatsuki members – when they were around – but it wasn't enough. He needed to sacrifice something, feel that wonderful rush as their painful death radiated through him, but he wasn't allowed out of the hideout without Kakuzu, and Pein tended to get annoyed when he tried to sacrifice Tobi.

Plus, it didn't help matters that he was also incredibly _sexually_ frustrated. Going it alone got so dull after the first few times.

"Kakuzu is an asshole." He growled, walking through the hideout by himself. "Trust that fuckface to leave right when I get so fucking hot for him." He'd even asked Pein if he'd heard anything from Kakuzu, and had been told that the mission had been stalled slightly and it would take another few days at the most. "Back in a few days, my ass. Fucking liar. He's doing this on purpose." He swung his fist at the closest wall and punched a hole through it, not caring that he'd be yelled at for it when someone discovered the damage. "There's no fucking way I can go another few days. Asshole." He wandered into the den, where he spotted Blondie sat on a sofa, his legs curled under him, a book in his hand. Deidara looked up when he entered and smiled.

"Hey, Hidan, un." He liked Deidara, because Deidara was one of the few people who actually tried to get to know him. Sasori was a total antisocial bastard, and barely spoke three words to him in a week, and Zetsu liked to keep to himself, too. Kisame would talk to him whenever they were in the same room, but their conversations didn't really go much farther than missions and their shared love of battle. Pein looked down upon everyone except Konan, so a conversation with him was _very_ rare, and Konan herself was always busy helping Pein, although she did enjoy his company now and then (when he didn't call her a heathen bitch every five seconds, that is). Itachi was another of the few people he actually liked, because the Uchiha was always so friendly to him. And Tobi? Well, Tobi was just annoying.

"Hey fucker." Hidan replied, slumping on the end of the sofa. Deidara went back to his book and there was silence for a moment. Hidan watched Deidara read, fascinated by the concentration on the blonde's face as he turned page after page. He was annoyed, however, that the book was getting more attention that he was. Scowling, he glared at the offensive item, willing it to burst into flames. When that didn't happen, he settled for pestering Deidara. "What you doing?" Deidara glanced up at him.

"Reading, un." He waved the book around to emphasise his point, before going back to ignoring him. Hidan waited a few moments.

"What you reading?" Once again, Deidara glanced up at him, a flash of annoyance in his eyes.

"A book, un." He even showed Hidan the cover, hoping that the Jashinist would be satisfied with that and leave him alone. It seemed to work, as Hidan fell silent for a lot longer than last time, but then the zealot opened his mouth again.

"What's it about?" Now he was irked. He lowered the book and turned slowly to stare hard at Hidan.

"It's a romance novel, Hidan, what do you think it's about, un?" Hidan heard the irritation in Deidara's voice and smirked. He nodded slowly and pretended to become interested in a loose thread on his pants, waiting for Deidara to get back into his book. When Deidara remained watching him for a while, he shifted his attention to a recent wound on his chest, prodding at it to see if it would reopen and start bleeding again. That seemed to do the trick, as Deidara then lifted the book once more and began reading again. He waited, watching the blonde through his eyelashes, and then smirked.

"Is it good?" He knew he'd succeeded in his task when the book smacked into his face with some force, and then fell to the floor, one corner of the cover bent backwards.

"Shut the fuck up, Hidan, un!" Deidara scowled. "I read the same sentence about six times because of you, un. Go bother someone else, yeah?" Hidan scowled right back at him.

"Like who? That creepy bastard Zetsu is off on his own somewhere, and Kisame and Itachi are on a bloody mission! Unless you want me to go and bother your fucking wooden partner, or _Tobi_, then there is no one else!" He shot back. "This is all that bastard Kakuzu's fault." Deidara rolled his eyes.

"Why, cause he left on a mission and there's no one to fuck your brains out? Un." Hidan raised his eyebrows.

"Yeah, that's exactly why." Deidara's scowl disappeared in an instant. "What? A guy has needs, Dei-chan." He smiled slyly. "You probably wouldn't fucking know though, would you? Not everyone has those fucking things on our hands." Deidara stared down at the mouths on his hands, and then back up to Hidan, eyes widening in shock. "Oh don't give me that fucking look, we all know what you fucking do with those. To tell you the fucking truth, I'm jealous."

"You mean… you're pestering me because you're sexually frustrated, un?" Hidan's answer was a smirk. Deidara blushed and averted his eyes. "Well what do you want me to do about it, un?" Hidan's smirk widened as ideas swam through his head. So what if he was technically in a relationship with Kakuzu? The fucker wasn't around to satisfy his needs, and so his only option was to go and find someone else to do it instead. "Hidan? I don't like that smirk, un."

"You know, Dei-chan, I've always found you somewhat… exciting." Hidan spoke smoothly, his tongue flicking out to wet his lips. One of his many skills was seducing others – how else had he managed to get Kakuzu to sleep with him that first time? "I mean, with those extra mouths, you could sure make sex so much more fucking fun than an average guy could." Deidara was uncomfortable and embarrassed, he could see that much, but he would soon change that. "Don't tell me you've never thought about me when you touch yourself at night." It was a risky thing to say, and it could easily be thrown back in his face, but damn it he _needed_ release, so it was worth taking the chance.

"H-Hidan, I… ah… it was… only the once, un…" He was pleasantly surprised to know he'd taken the right chance, but he hid his surprise from Deidara. He slowly crawled across the sofa to the blonde, who retreated as far back as he could go, his back against the arm rest.

"I fucking knew it, you find me attractive, don't you Dei-chan?" He crept closer, and placed one knee between Deidara's legs, one hand beside Deidara's hip, the other reaching up to his chin, lifting his face ever so slightly so that they were eye-to-eye. He shifted the knee in between Deidara's legs, brushed up against the inside of his thigh, and watched the blush spread over Deidara's face. "Don't deny it, Dei-chan. I know you fucking want me." He leant closer, violet eyes locked onto cerulean ones, and swiped his tongue over his top lip. "If you want me, fucking take me." Deidara jolted forward, crushing their lips together in a bruising kiss. Hidan smirked into the kiss before he deepened it, pushing his tongue into the blonde's mouth. Deidara easily allowed him to dominate, and brought his hands up to Hidan's waist, one arm snaking around his back. He dragged his other hand down Hidan's chest, digging his nails in as hard as he could.

Hidan hitched his knee up, pressing hard at Deidara's groin, and the blonde gasped into the kiss, clawing at Hidan's back at the same time. Now one of his legs wrapped around Hidan's waist, pulling the zealot's hips down to grind against his own. They broke the kiss when the need for air arose, and Hidan yanked Deidara's shirt up and over the blonde's head, tossing it to one side. His teeth instantly latched onto the skin near the blonde's collarbone, and Deidara arched into him, his breath hitching. One hand tangled itself in his hair and tugged, and he growled low in his throat – Deidara sure knew how to turn him on. He moved his lips to Deidara's throat and smirked as the blonde writhed beneath him. Obviously he knew how to turn _him_ on, too.

"H-Hidan, ah… what about K-Kakuzu, un?" Hidan bit Deidara as hard as he could, causing a cry to rip from his throat.

"Fuck him." He muttered, tracing Deidara's jaw with his tongue. Deidara seemed to accept that answer, and flipped them – they flipped off the sofa, Hidan landing hard on his back with Deidara sprawled on top of him, but he barely registered it. Deidara sat up and straddled Hidan's hips, tugging his hair out of the tie and letting it fall down over his face. He lowered his face to Hidan's neck, and licked a line down his throat to his collarbone, before biting his way down Hidan's chest. He tugged off Hidan's pants and threw them across the room, before he once again lowered himself down. Hidan's breath caught in his throat when Deidara took him into his mouth, one of his hands on the inside of Hidan's thigh – the mouth on that particular hand was biting and licking at the sensitive skin.

Hidan grabbed a handful of Deidara's hair and yanked, urging the blonde on. He moaned softly as Deidara swirled his tongue around the tip, arching his back. It had been far too long since he'd felt this kind of pleasure, and it felt _good_. Deidara enveloped his entire shaft with the warm cavern of his mouth, groaning softly as he did so – the vibrations sent a shiver up Hidan's spine and a loud moan sounded at the back of his throat. Deidara's hair cascaded down in front of him like a sleek yellow curtain, so he couldn't see the wonderful expressions that crossed Hidan's face as he sucked on him, but from the sounds the platinum-haired zealot was making, he knew he was doing a damn good job of it. Hidan's eyes had slipped closed and he threw his head back as another long, low moan escaped from his parted lips. He'd had spectacular blow jobs before – Kakuzu had a pretty good knack for it – but this was just beyond anything he'd imagined. Both of them were so caught up in the moment that neither of them sensed the presence of another until he cleared his throat.

Deidara jerked upright in a second, and Hidan's eyes opened slowly, focusing on the tall man standing in the doorway. Fear shot into Deidara's eyes as he took in the cold glare being sent his way.

"Please, don't stop because of me." Kakuzu growled, setting his briefcase down on the floor. Hidan propped himself up on his elbows, staring at Kakuzu in shock. "You just couldn't wait, could you?" The question was directed at Hidan, who couldn't find the right words to answer him. "I can't say I'm surprised, Hidan, but of course I will have to make sure you're punished for betraying me." He turned to stare at Deidara. "And you will be punished for touching what is mine." Calmly, he took off his head covering and his mask, and unbuttoned his cloak, setting them all down on top of his briefcase. He closed the door and locked it without taking his eyes off Hidan and Deidara. As the two of them watched in surprise, he removed his shoes and crossed the room to where Deidara was still half-crouched over Hidan's hips, and he knelt down beside the blonde. "Punishment begins now, blondie."

Hidan's eyes widened when Kakuzu grabbed Deidara by the hair and yanked him forward so their lips met, but he wasn't nearly as surprised as Deidara was. Still, it wasn't unpleasant, kissing Kakuzu, though it did feel a little odd. Hidan's jaw dropped when Deidara began kissing back. When they broke apart, he bolted up and shoved Kakuzu.

"What the fuck? You get all fucking bitchy about me 'betraying' you for the release I fucking deserve, and then go and fucking make out with blondie yourself?" He snapped. Kakuzu simply smirked.

"Relax, Hidan. You'll still get your apparently much-needed release, I was just familiarising myself with Deidara before I join you." Hidan's jaw dropped for the second time.

"Join us, un?" Deidara gasped. "You mean…"

"Well, I have to make up for being away longer than I said I would, and you two seemed to be having so much fun…" Kakuzu was cut off as Hidan jerked forward to kiss him, hands already disappearing up the front of his shirt. He broke the kiss and rested his forehead against Kakuzu's.

"Clothes. Off. Now." He growled, and Kakuzu smirked, pushing him onto his back and removing his shirt. He met Deidara's eyes and nodded, and the blonde blushed, hiding behind his hair. Hands were suddenly thrust down his pants, and a second set tugged them down past his hips. A warm body pressed against his back and swept the hair away from his neck, and then a pair of lips touched the heated skin before gently nipping their way up to the spot just behind his ear. From the gentle biting, he knew it was Kakuzu, which meant the hands now fondling him belonged to Hidan. He looked up, shaking the hair out of his face, and met the lust-filled eyes of said zealot.

His pants were pushed all the way down and he shuffled out of them, kicking them off as best as he could considering the position he was in. He watched as Hidan leant forward to join lips with Kakuzu over his shoulder, and licked his lips at the scene in front of him. He had to admit, these two were possibly the hottest couple in the whole of Akatsuki. A tug on his cock told him that Hidan hadn't forgotten he was there, and so he tilted his head to bite at the stitches on Kakuzu's face. The pair broke the kiss and Deidara helped Hidan remove Kakuzu's pants, and as Hidan took a fully erect Kakuzu into his mouth, Deidara allowed his hand-mouths to roam freely over Kakuzu's body whilst his actual mouth met Kakuzu's.

The miser groaned softly into the kiss, and he yanked Hidan's hair as hard as he could, reaching down with his free hand to stroke Deidara's length, easily matching the rhythm Hidan had going without a second thought. Kakuzu broke the kiss with Deidara and tugged Hidan's head up, catching the zealot's lips in another bruising kiss. Deidara moved behind Hidan and bit down hard on the Jashinist's neck, reaching around so that his hand-mouths could suck and lick on Hidan's cock. Kakuzu stood up and retrieved something from his cloak. As he knelt down in front of Hidan once more, Deidara saw that it was a kunai – and in a second, Kakuzu had plunged it into Hidan's chest.

The platinum-haired man practically screamed in ecstasy, throwing his head back onto Deidara's shoulder as he came violently. Kakuzu smirked and twisted the kunai, blood already dripping from the wound which – on anyone other than Hidan – would have been fatal. Kakuzu leant forward, biting at Hidan's collarbone, drawing blood. Deidara yanked the kunai from Hidan's chest and dragged it along his thigh, a thin line of blood appearing within seconds. Several long threads extended from Kakuzu's arm and penetrated Hidan's chest, and the zealot became obviously aroused within an instant. He pounced upon Kakuzu, knocking the bigger man onto his back, and straddled his waist, raking his nails over the stitching on his chest. Kakuzu quickly regained dominance over the Jashinist – he certainly wasn't going to let Hidan take control – and used his threads to bind the zealot's wrists together. More of his threads wrapped around Deidara's wrist and pulled the blonde forward.

"Ahh, Kuzu-koi, let me go…" Hidan whined, struggling against the threads, but knowing it was no use. "You bastard!" Kakuzu ignored him and met Deidara's eyes.

"Your turn." He murmured to the blonde, and he pushed him down onto his back beside Hidan, using his threads to pin him down. He slowly took the head of Deidara's cock into his mouth, teasing the tip with his tongue. Deidara's head snapped back as the pleasure shot up his spine, and a loud moan escaped from his lips. _Damn_ Kakuzu was good at this! Hidan was still squirming and trying in vain to free his wrists, and so Kakuzu reached towards him with one hand, holding out two of his fingers. Hidan didn't need to be told what to do – he sat up and took the fingers into his mouth, coating them nicely with his saliva.

"Nn… ah, Ka…kuzu, un…" Deidara gasped, bucking his hips as Kakuzu took the whole length into his mouth suddenly. Threads quickly slammed his hips back down onto the floor, and Kakuzu lifted his head, withdrawing his fingers from Hidan's mouth. He freed Hidan's wrists, but kept Deidara pinned to the floor. The blonde watched as Hidan and Kakuzu locked eyes, and then Kakuzu smirked, after which Hidan nodded and knelt over Deidara's hips, leaning down to give the blonde a mind-blowing kiss. Deidara was amazed at how the zealot and the miser had seemingly communicated without words, and had known exactly what the other wanted to do. He'd never had that with anyone before – he guessed it just proved that Hidan and Kakuzu were a lot closer than people believed them to be.

"Get ready for it, Hidan." Kakuzu murmured, before slipping his fingers inside the Jashinist. Hidan broke the kiss with Deidara and turned to glare at the miser.

"Do it fucking harder, asshole. Don't fucking tease." Kakuzu rolled his eyes and pushed another finger inside of him without any warning. Hidan cried out, eyes slipping closed, and Deidara licked his lips at the sight. The threads holding him down loosened and vanished, wrapping around Hidan's waist instead, and pulling the Jashinist into an upright position. Kakuzu's fingers were instantly removed and replaced with his cock, causing the zealot to scream out in pain and pleasure. Deidara sat himself up and switched his position – he balanced himself on his hands and knees in front of Hidan, and settled with resuming the actions he'd started earlier. One hand found the kunai that had been cast aside and forgotten, and he picked it up, raking it down Hidan's chest. Blood dripped onto his face, but he didn't care.

Kakuzu's threads were now wrapped around Hidan's throat, almost strangling him. One of Hidan's arms was thrown behind him and around Kakuzu's neck, his fingers grasping Kakuzu's hair. The miser's tongue flicked out and swirled at the sensitive spot behind Hidan's ear, before he leant down and latched his teeth onto Hidan's neck. Deidara became suddenly aware of the throbbing ache between his legs and instantly dropped the kunai and used that hand to pleasure himself. Hidan had been right earlier – he did use his hand-mouths for this purpose all the time. Well why not? It was certainly easier than trying to get Sasori to put his damn puppets down for ten minutes.

"Ahh, Kuzu-koi! H-harder!" Hidan pleaded, his free hand clawing at the wounds on his chest. "Harder, you fucking heathen!" Kakuzu didn't need to be told again. With the aid of his threads, he pounded into Hidan without a thought for the damage he could be inflicting – after all, that was exactly what Hidan wanted him to do. The masochistic bastard loved that sort of stuff. More and more threads wrapped around Hidan's body, pinning him to Kakuzu. He threw his head back with a scream as threads plunged into the largest wound on his chest, and broke through his ribs to wrap around his heart. As the threads squeezed, Kakuzu put his lips to Hidan's ear and murmured so quietly that Hidan almost couldn't hear him.

"I love you, you masochistic bastard."

Everything seemed to pause for Hidan. His mind went over the words he'd just heard several times before they really sunk in. That was the first time he'd ever heard Kakuzu use the word love in reference to him. He turned his head and captured Kakuzu's lips in an uncharacteristically soft kiss, just as everything jerked into motion again. With a final thrust, Kakuzu and Hidan came together, Deidara easily swallowing every drop of Hidan's seed. The familiar taste and the feeling of it sliding down his throat sent him over the edge, too, and he tried to steady himself on shaking arms. The threads around Hidan's body vanished and the zealot fell forward and to the side, narrowly missing Deidara. Hidan's arms wouldn't hold him, however, and so he collapsed to the floor, panting heavily. Kakuzu laughed quietly and stood up to retrieve his cloak, slipping it easily around Hidan's body. He pulled on his own pants and gathered up his shirt and Hidan's pants, dropping them on top of his briefcase. He spotted Deidara's pants and tossed them to him, before scooping Hidan up in his arms. Deidara pulled on his pants and shirt and stood up shakily.

"I think we all need a shower, un." He said with a shaky laugh. Kakuzu nodded and turned to the door. Deidara sighed. He knew that he would never be a part of the love and passion that Kakuzu and Hidan shared – this had simply been a one-time thing and it would never happen again. So he was surprised when Kakuzu turned to look at him and smiled.

"Are you coming or not, Dei-chan?" The blonde's eyes widened. Had he heard correctly? Hidan, who was clinging to Kakuzu like a lifeline, grinned at him.

"Deidara-koi, why the fuck are you just standing there? Get your ass over here so I can fuck it in the shower." As Deidara walked over to take Hidan's outstretched hand, he felt that this was better than any romance novel.

* * *

_**Author's Note:** Well I had a ton of fun writing this, I can assure you XD Anyway, this is dedicated to my good friend BelieveIt, because she complained about the lack of threesomes with Deidara that didn't involve Itachi and Sasori, so I wrote this for her. She also complained about the lack of Pein threesomes, so you never know... XD Hope you enjoyed it, don't forget to review on your way out! Oh, and please don't Story Alert this, as this story is a one-shot and therefore **finished**. There will be no more, so a Story Alert isn't needed XD_


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